MONTREAL CANADIENS GLOURIOUS RUN TO THE PLAYOFFS | |||||||||||||||||
| 9PTS: OUT OF A PLAYOFF SPOT | |||||||||||||||||
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This Site Was last updated by Dion | ||||||||||||||||
| Joke of the day | |||||||||||||||||
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stand erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove people prayed." | ||||||||||||||||
| Another joke | |||||||||||||||||
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His/Hers drive up ATM's His: 1.Pull up to ATM 2.Insert card 3.Enter PIN number and account 4.Take cash, card and receipt Her: 1.Pull up to ATM 2.Check makeup in rearview mirror 3.Shut off engine 4.Put keys in purse 5.Get out of car because she's too far from machine 6.Hunt for card in purse 7.Insert card 8.Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it 9.Enter PIN number 10.Study instructions for at least 2 minutes 11.Hit "cancel" 12.Re-enter correct PIN number 13.Check balance 14.Look for envelope 15.Look in purse for pen 16.Make out deposit slip 17.Endorse checks 18.Make deposit 19.Study instructions 20.Make cash withdrawl 21.Get in car 22.Check makeup 23.Look for keys 24.Start car 25.Check makeup 26.Start pulling away 27.STOP 28.Back up to machine 29.Get out of car 30.Take card and receipt 31.Get back in car 32.Put card in wallet 33.Put receipt in checkbook 34.Enter deposits and withdrawls in checkbook 35.Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook 36.Check makeup 37.Put car in gear, reverse 38.Put car in drive 39.Drive away from machine 40.Travel 3 miles 41.Release parking brake | ||||||||||||||||
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